an open letter

i still haven't told my mom. i don't know how to tell. i'm afraid to let her down. although none of this is even my fault. maybe its shame. yes. i am ashamed. should have no reason to, but i feel that way.

i went to go talk to Jesus today too. i prayed for strength, as i have done every night since. i asked him to help me understand this situation. i asked him to help bring peace to my heart. i asked him for me to stop hurting.

the days are torturous, but the nights are more. he is all i think about. i cried again last night. i cried until i was tired and fell asleep. i will include in my prayers tonight to not sleep crying.

im not looking forward to tomorrow. tomorrow i tell everyone we have broke up. and everyone will keep asking questions. on and on, its how it will be..

i wish i could get away.